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A guy walks into a bar. His name is Tom. It is me.

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Punctuation Is For Pussies

2010-07-11 09:18:11 by tommystorm

Far Cry 2 is ridiculous in so many ways.

If your car gets damaged you can get out, open it up and tweak the engine to fix it. This would make sense except it fixes all the bodywork damage too. And it only takes two or three turns of the ratchet to do that. Clearly the protagonist kicked the shit out of mechanic school.

Your character has malaria so you need to take a pill every 30 minutes or real time. This is not immersive. It's fucking annoying.

Even though it's on the Dunia engine it still looks like shit. But that might be because we've just finished Killzone 2 which gently caresses your eyes with it's overwhelming beauty, making every other game ever look like a crayon drawing done on a napkin by a 3 year old quadruple amputee.

There's a dude at one point with an assault rifle on his back. He's not wearing a shirt. He's not wearing a bandolier or a holster. It's just stuck to his back. Like he's glued it there to look cool or something.

And here's the big one boys and girls... What the FUCK is up with the voice acting? I mean, really? Everyone speaks with zero emotion at 200 miles per hour. You can't understand them most of the time because they all have South African accents which (I'm sorry South Africa) just sound like people trying to do Australian accents and getting it wrong. But the speed of the speech is truly terrifying. I didn't know humans could speak that fast. It sounds like they gave the script to someone who can't speak English, removed all punctuation and kept the first take.

It's laughable most of the time. Tragic otherwise.

Punctuation Is For Pussies

All Time High General Rock Song
Falcon Punch Drum N Bass Song
Storm Jam Five World Song
Storm Jam Three Miscellaneous Song

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